The Cannon Mess

This Musing is LONNNNG overdue. In our lifetimes we experience not only events that shape our times but, more importantly, people as well.  It’s those very unique, never again individuals that bring an enrichment and thus a realization of how fortunate we were to have lived when we did.  Such is the case with Steve Bernard Cannon.  He will never be equaled. 

Steve Bernard Cannon was born in Michigan and grew up in the northeastern Minnesota's Iron Range Town of Eveleth.  He chose to work in radio to avoid a life of working in the coal mines.

In addition to his brief sojourn at KGO in San Francisco, his journey took him to radio stations in Mason City, Iowa, and Minnesota stations in Stillwater, Bemidji and Duluth. In the Twin Cities he worked at WLOL and at KSTP for 13 years. After KSTP rid themselves of the Babe Ruth of radio personalities, WCCO immediately put him behind their microphone where he remained as their afternoon drive time host for the next 26 years.  All totaled, Cannon spent some 40 years entertaining Twin Cities listeners.  

Cannon was a master of theater of the mind.  It was this precious element that allowed radio to once dominate American psyche and entertainment.  This mastery made him the most talented radio personality of the era.  

“The Cannon Mess” and all the “lil’ Cannons” was perfect for the end of any day, especially if it were stressful.  “The Cannon Mess” Theme Song – “What D’Ya Mean You Lost Yer Dog” - as performed by “Emile Stern and the Eveleth City Marching Band,” is still viewed with mystery, frustration and anger in that it never received a Grammy Award.

Cannon dubbed himself the "king of the kilohertz, the prince of the airwaves.” The dulcet tones of his rich baritone voice resonated from the “basement studio” where a single light with an on-off pull-chain hung from the ceiling by a little cord, as he guided us down the “boulevard of broken hearts” (University Avenue - probably a reference to the many fired by KSTP and Hubbard broadcasting).  

“Good Neighbor to the Northwest,” WCCO’s tag line designed as the stations image builder, was often referred to as the “Evil Neighbor.”  The station was notable for running what seemed like endless commercials.  As such, Cannon also dubbed his show the “planet of the tapes” (“2001 commercials in the next 4 hours”) and often referred to the station brain trust as the “crack management staff.”  If there was anything about the station that irritated listeners, Cannon was aware of it, and played with it to the sheer delight of his audience.  It was also common knowledge that Cannon was never pleased with the contracts that WCCO demanded he consider.

Then there were all those “lil’ Cannons.”  They became the real stars of the show.  They were regular in studio co-hosts that he bantered with.

Ma Linger was the aged, endearing, flirtatious sex kitten. Only Ma Linger thought about sex more often than the average heterosexual American male.  Ma once showed up in the studio wearing a leather miniskirt, dark hose, four-inch, high-heel shoes,  and a cute “little” silk blouse.  When asked why she was dressed so provocatively, she told Cannon that she had a date that night.  Her boyfriend, who was a good friend of Pooh Richardson, was taking her to the Timberwolves game.

Morgan Mundane was the street-wise bookie and undisputed snooker champion of the world.  He hailed from the college of “Way-Back” and was the editor of the “congressional sports record.” His Friday sports prognostications were, and still are, viewed as legendary.  The weekly wisecracking predictions were always highlighted by “America’s greatest college football fight song” - “Fight on for Ole” which always evoked; “a crick in the knee, a frog in the throat and a tear in the eye” as performed by the Eveleth City Marching Band, with, as always, the“Genial Amile Stern wielding the baton.”  To this very day NO ONE knows for sure who Stan Brocanocowitz was.  Looks like we’ll never know. 

Morgan: “Marv Albert had another press

               conference in New York today, with da

                reporters screemin’ at ‘em”

Cannon: “So what did they ask him?”

Morgan: “So one of them says;” ‘So what do ya

              think about da pink slip?’ “And Marv

              says;” ‘I hope it fits.”

  

Backlash Larue was the over-the-top, ultra-effeminate men’s clothing and civility consultant and commentator on current culture and trends.  Backlash had a flare for the gaudy. Common recommendations for attire included fur cuffs, pastel colored sport jackets (purple, pink, chartreuse) and scarves – lots of scarves.       

Cannon’s talent was so immense that there where those  who never believed that these co-hosts where all Cannon voiced characterizations that sprang from his incredibly talented vocal variety, radio production expertise and fertile imagination.      

We mustn’t forget Cannon’s wife, “Nanook of the Norge,” Morgan’s brother Maurice and his wife Mona and, of course, their kids; Denise and De-nephew or “Hurley’s Hanging Garden.”

It is doubtful Cannon would find his way onto radio today.  Cannon was fortunate to have lived at precisely the right point in time.  He was perfect for the era. It was when personality radio ruled the air-waves.  It was this era that allowed Cannon to take advantage of his talents - his creativity and imagination all born from a quirky off-beat human make-up.  It was when radio was the only place on earth where the proverbial square peg could actually fit in a round hole.  A program director once told a fledgling broadcaster that he would never hire someone to do a show if they had both oars in the water.  Cannon certainly fit that description.  

Early in his career Cannon was hired as a morning announcer and salesman at the Stillwater, Minnesota radio station.  He had absolutely no interest in sales.  He took the job to hone his skills behind the mic. He would do his morning show and then leave the station to make his sales calls.  Cannon found it far more palatable to spend afternoons napping in his car at a local park. This helped offset the sleepiness from the demands of early morning rising.      

Cannon was a very private person.  He would go to, sometimes, great lengths to protect his privacy.  He was most uncomfortable around strangers and would often times be viewed as aloof or arrogant because he was difficult, if not impossible, to engage.  He meant no offense; he just couldn’t be who he wasn’t. 

His contract with WCCO clearly stated he did not have to make Minnesota State Fair appearances.  To do so, would require engaging fairgoers (total strangers) in conversation and his self-consciousness naturally precluded the use of all his co-hosts. 

Cannon’s small windowless studio at WCCO was once damaged by fire.  As a result, he was forced to do his show in the main studio.  The staff at the radio station had to cover the windows with paper so no one could view him as he worked on-air. 

Eccentricity has long been a hallmark of our greatest entertainers.  Steve Cannon was no exception.

Cannon also had an intense side.  He was repulsed by deception and injustice. He didn’t hesitate to point them out on both the national and local levels.  Whether you agreed or disagreed with him there were unmistakable qualities that consistently resonated in his commentaries.  He was a big believer in “do unto others…”, compassion and fairness.   

And there were stories.  Stories about people.  Everyone from Frank Sinatra and Marilyn Monroe to many of the local personalities within the Twin Cities and Minnesota. Stories about past experiences and bygone times and places.  Stories about current activities and locales.  They were marvelous.

Steve Cannon encompassed the full gamut of personality radio.  He managed all of this without ever uttering a vulgarity or being mean-spirited or callous in any manner.

We lost Steve to cancer on April 6, 2009 at the age of 81.  The loss still conjures up heartache.  Just one more commentary by Morgan on Calvin Griffith or “Da Vi-Queens” is now out of the question.  Yet remembering this extraordinary talent also conjures up all the joy he brought into our lives and an exhilaration that still resonates to this very day. 

Cannon may have bragged “I got the money.” But we, his nostalgic and forever grateful listeners have something far more valuable to brag about – for we; got the memories.

A Nation Of Laws

 We thought this implied unshakable political support.
His attorneys say it was something entirely different.

Donald J. Trump’s lawyer, William Consovoy, argued that as president Donald J. Trump cannot be prosecuted for a crime.   Consovoy, has argued that it is illegal to even investigate the president.  The only reference to any such legal precedent is Richard Nixon; “When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.”       

 Help!!!  To date no such statute or law can be found that defines who in America is above the law and certainly nothing that refers specifically to the President of the United States.  

 On October 1^st an article entitled “Impeaching Donald J. Trump” was published in A Malat Musing.  It outlines opposition to a Trump impeachment.  It basically relies on two elements.  One that impeachment, by its very nature, is political, and secondly; that such an act would primarily serve in exacerbating polarization and hatreds that have reached epidemic levels in America.

What the article failed to recognize, and is now crystal clear with the latest pronouncements by Trump’s legal team, is that the temporary discomfort resulting from impeachment is far less of an impediment to America than having either an ignoramus or a scoundrel as our president.  Both the Nixon and Clinton embarrassments were quickly forgotten.  That was a blessing.  The curse is that that short memory has been instrumental to bestowing Donald J. Trump upon us.

It is one matter to have a president who is totally comfortable in ignoring establish procedures and customs; comfortable in retracting any law that suits his bigoted nature or political fancy; comfortable in being uncouth and abandoning civilized behavior; comfortable in inciting violence through racist and bigoted rhetoric while behaving as a self-serving narcissist of the highest order.  Those are all serious character flaws.  As embarrassing as they may be, it is something we must learn to live with until the mistake can be corrected at the ballot box.

 However, it is a completely different matter to have a president who is incapable of recognizing that America is a nation of laws.  A president who is void of any conscience and thus has no compunction in snubbing his nose at those laws. A president who, with his hand on the bible says; “…will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." - and then publicly declares; the hell with it. 

A Malat Musing must now retract its opposition to the impeachment of Donald J. Trump. 
The author now goes on record as being solidly in support of that initiative and is offering fervent prayers that it can be accomplish very quickly.

 Hatred is accurately viewed as evil.  All the justification needed for that certainty is, indeed, embodied in the presidency of one Donald J. Trump.

Insanity Around Sacrificing the Kurds

Outrage prevails over the continued attempt of the “Forever-War-Crowd” to justify their hatreds, death and destruction. 

It is an absolute and total perversion of the truth to suggest American is somehow responsible for the slaughter the Turks and Kurds perpetrate upon themselves.  This is not the first time America has been subjected to the irrational harshness of this perversion.

America’s withdrawing of our troops from Syria is exactly what we should do.  America deserves high praise, NOT condemnation, for an action that should have taken place many, many, many months ago.  

The use of the Kurds as an argument against our withdrawal from Syria begs for the employment of sane thought.  

1.   When is America’s obligation to an ally deemed sufficient??  Are we, in today’s world, expected to fight for an eternity to escape the distaste of an ungrateful ally? 

2.   ISIS was a huge threat to Kurd security in the Middle East.  The Kurds didn’t enter into that fight to aid America; America’s involvement hugely benefited the Kurds.  They were more than happy to fight alongside us.  The Kurds knew that just their efforts, along with the efforts of the Syrian rebels, would never be enough to defeat ISIS.  

3. The Kurds have captured and held a large portion of northeastern Syria since the defeat and expulsion of ISIS.  The only reason they insist on our continued military support is because they may not be able to permanently claim that hunk of geography without America sacrificing even more American lives and spending billions more in American dollars.  Is this really a legitimate and wise use of our military resources??? 

4.   The captured ISIS fighters and their families are not, and should not, be deemed an American responsibility.  President Trump is more than accurate when he states “…Europe and others, …must… watch over the captured ISIS fighters and families. The US has done far more than anyone could have ever expected…It is time now for others…” to step up and do their part. 

5.   Whatever differences exist between the Turks and Kurds has NOTHING to do with America. If these parties are too unreasonable to sit down and work out their disagreements than they, and they ALONE, should suffer the consequences. 

6.   President Trump floated this trial balloon of withdrawal from Syrian last December.  He made it clear it would be forthcoming.  The Kurds had almost a full year to get out of harm’s way but choose to hold their ground knowing they would eventually have to go it alone.  WHY?  The answer more than likely can be found in number 3 above. 

7.  Instead of the Kurds expressing their undying gratitude for American support and portraying themselves as a grateful people, they are demanding they be viewed as a victim. America should be viewed as the ungrateful nation?  How’s that for patently absurd???  

T   This is Vietnam Déjà vu.  America suffered the exact same criticism when we finally pulled out of Vietnam.  It was then, as it is now, charged that American turned its back on an ally even though we spent billions of dollars and sacrificed over 58,000 American lives.  What will be the response when we FINALY leave Afghanistan? There is NOOO doubt that America will be harshly criticized for a reemergence of the Taliban and the cruelty they will reinstate in their abusive human rights agenda.  We will undoubtedly hear that we have deserted the defenseless Afghans who had two decades to prepare themselves to stand on their own after being provided with the best training and weaponry in the world – after the loss of thousands of American lives and billions of American dollars.  This is insanity.  To buy into it is to further glorify hatred, death and destruction.

This Kurd absurdity, like the Vietnam idiocy of deserting the South Vietnamese, is nothing more than big money behind the “Forever-War-Crowd” flexing their muscle. 

All those who continue to incessantly whine over America ending its war involvements could be soundly silenced by this country reinstituting forced conscription – THE DRAFT.  We fought and won World War II in less than four-years.  The more Americans touched by our wars, the shorter they become. 

These naysayers would find it next to impossible to find a sympathetic ear for their greed and selfishness if more American families were invested in our wars.  The discomfort and pain associated with the possible loss of sons and daughters suffered by more American families would create an outrage absent in America today.  Rest assured, if such a climate existed, the more than 10,000 American lives now at risk in the Middle East would ALLLL be preparing to return home. 

And “THAT’S A FACT JACK” !!!!!!!

It precisely as Dr. King said; “Violence (War) is immoral…It creates bitterness in the survivors and brutality in the destroyers.” 

Folly of Term Limits

Term Limits as a proposed solution to stronger, more effective and more responsible political representation fails to address the very complex and deep seeded nature of the problem and thus falls far short of the desired outcome.  It is not our politicians that are the primary problem but rather “we the people.”

 The first and most crucial flaw in the term limits thinking is a belief that changing our politicians like we change out underwear will produce a different or more positive result.  Where has it ever been demonstrated that better or more viable representation will result from term limits???

We would also be wise to consider that any and all surveys and polls over the years have been unanimous in their findings that most Americans are very dismayed with congressional performance but always believe their representatives are admirable.  It’s always those other louts that are the problem.

Do we really think that Minnesota’s sixth district will ever elect anyone other than a Republican or that the fourth district will ever elect anyone other than a Democrat??  Those voters don’t care, and worse DON’T KNOW, what these candidates represent. They only care about their party affiliation.

 It also fails to take into consideration that a politician can be corrupted with guarantees of lifelong security or threats to his well-being with just a single telephone call.

 We are also laboring under the misconception our politicians will, without any public outcries, properly address our problems and challenges.  In reality they will not act without activism, without our very vocal demonstrations of strong public support or outrage, whoever occupies those elective offices.  “We the people” lack any such backbone today.

While our lack of resolve for breaking windows is a major concern, the abhorrent apathy of sitting at home on election day is even more repulsive.  Ninety-seven million (97,000,000) of the 241,000,000 eligible voters sat at home in 2016.  This allowed a scant 26% of the eligible voters to place Donald J. Trump in the oval office. 

One of the most important lessons we should be learning from the Trump presidency is that a novice in our political system is a disaster.  The “Civil Rights Act Of 1964”, ending the Jim Crow racist stranglehold on America, needed Lyndon Johnson’s and Hubert Humphrey’s knowledge of our governing system, legislative experience, political skills and long-term relationships with members of congress for the bill to gain legislative approval.  Johnson and Humphrey implored and convinced their long-time legislation colleague, Everettt Dirksen, to persuade his Republican colleagues to end the filibuster that was killing the bill. It was this acumen, forged through years of service, that ended the filibuster thus paving the way for its passage and signing.

Legislations enacted through the joint efforts of President Ronald Reagan and Speaker Thomas "Tip" O’Neil, both seasoned, veteran lawmakers, greatly benefited America.

 Not all career politicians are evil.  Only the bad politicians are evil.  Are we really comfortable with disposing of those dedicated public servants committed to the general welfare and common good of this nation???  Let’s hope not. 

Expressing our anger and frustration through adopting term limits advances no guarantee that there will be some momentous awakening to Chuck Hagel’s marvelous wisdom.

Let's also ask ourselves if we truly believe we are living in a democracy when the our government is dictating who we can and CAN"T support for elective offices?  

We should also contemplate how realistic it is to spend the time and money on a proposition destined to fail.  Do we really believe that American politicians are going to support any initiative that removes them from the gravy-train? 

It’s a whole lot easier to think our problems can be solved at the ballot box when, in fact, it requires national sacrifice and serious activism – taking to the streets – disrupting those in power with the stability they need to maintain their self-centered stranglehold on our political system and way of life.  For them to have control, “We the people,” must remain silent and inactive, regardless of who those office holders may be.  

The term limits suggestion and debate are a complete waste of time.  We have far more important issues that demand our attention not the least of which should be repealing the 22^nd amendment, not expanding it.

Bernie Sanders and Winning

In order to win a political contest in America today a candidate must be affiliated with one of the two major political parties.  Once that support is gained, the total focus and primary objective is winning.  Everything else – issues, solutions, commitment to the general welfare and common good – are all relegated to insignificance. Thomas Jefferson knew this and was oh SOOOO wise in his caution which we have chosen to ignore; “I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men…Such a system is the last degradation of a free and moral agent.  If I could go to heaven but with a party, I would not go there at all.”    

 

This ingrained acceptance of a party system of governance ignores the fact that Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. never held an elective or appointed political office.  Fifty years later we are still ignoring that it was Bernie Sanders 2016 presidential bid that has led to the widespread acceptance of a $15.00 an hour minimum wage and that, for the first time, we are engaged in serious conversations and consideration surrounding a single payer universal health care program and system.  These were UNHEARD OF before the Sanders 2016 presidential campaign.  He is building a consensus where none existed before.  It was done without winning the presidency.  That is leadership.    

 

At present it appears that the Democratic party is well on their way to making exactly the same mistake they made in 2016.  Joe Biden, the most influential candidate within the party, seems destine to secure the nomination.  Like Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton, Biden’s appeal focuses on his longstanding stature within the party, superficial allures and building party image.  Once again, like Pelosi and Hillary, Biden represents the old, tired, corporate wing of the party.  They have ignored, and continue to ignore, the reality that our government plays a key role in the general welfare and common good of our nation.  “The era of big government is over.” was the single biggest mistake the Democrats ever made.  With that pronouncement, the party that once waged war on poverty, not the poor, and prided themselves on securing justice and humane legislation and treatment to uplift the downtrodden and marginalized among us, came to an end.

 

Knowing that Dr. King, didn’t need to win to have a marvelously powerful, positive impact on our way of life should provide the Democrats with the confidence and backbone to rid themselves of super-delegates and the darkness of political expediency and hatred.  Time for them to follow Bernie’s lead and commit themselves to once again providing the bright sunshine of liberty they have forsaken.

Baseball’s Most Precious Value

Grandson Drew’s growth has been prominent this summer. 

Lessons learned on the diamond will impact and aid him for a lifetime.

It has been, and still is, widely held that socialization begins for us at eight-years of age.  That Is when we are introduced to many of the realities that encompass life.  We begin to experience its harshness in frustrations and failures.  These new challenges can only be allayed through our efforts alone.  It is also when we begin to experience the exhilaration in life through mastering those challenges and dispelling the demons of disaster.  The best of parents understands all of this and, although sometimes painful, allow the process to play-out, so growth and a proper foundation can be established within our children.  It is also no secret that competition in athletics is one of the best methods, if not the very best method, to introduce these realities to our young people.

 We are blessed with four grandsons in our family.  Three played baseball this summer.  Two are lukewarm on the activity, the other is very enthusiastic.  His name is Drew.  

Drew loves all athletics and has played soccer, basketball and flag-football, all in addition to three years of baseball.  He has played on exceptional teams and on mediocre teams.  His basketball team lost only once last winter.  With the aid of his father, Drew managed to put the sting of that setback behind him.  He looks forward to playing again this winter.  Drew is eight-years-old.  This is the year – this summer – that so very many of those life lessons were introduced.  

Before this summer, just the usual and very basic introduction of baseball was experienced. The kids hit off tees; parents lobbed the ball to the kids when they were at bat.  The majority of traits that define the game were of little concern. 

This summer almost all the characteristics of a real baseball game began occurring. The kids began pitching to one another.  Fielding plays were made that could never have been made in previous years.  Balls were hit solidly into the outfield.  It was also this summer that the kids experienced bad pitches being called strikes; base runners being called out who were safe; losing games because of bad calls by umpires; losing games based upon the failure to make easy, routine plays at crucial points in a contest.  

It was also the summer that featured Drew turning multiple strikeout games (partially due to health problems) into games of hitting legitimate triples into the outfield.  It was this summer in which he distinguished himself as an excellent fielder.  At one point he anchored the completion of a triple play.   

As his health improved, his game improved.  He NEVER asked for a discontinuation of his involvement in the sport.  He has persevered through some really tough times. 

Baseball is very subtle and, therefore, a sedate game.  Only two ugly events can transpire on the diamond.  One is getting hit in the head or face with a pitch.  The other is a line drive that hits the pitcher above the neck.  The latter is the most serious in that the pitcher wears no protection while the hitters wear batting helmets.  It was also this summer that Drew witnessed one of these ugly events. 

 Early in a game, Drew’s team was trailing 10-0.  By the last inning he and his mates had cut the margin to 11-10.   Drew’s team was batting in the bottom of the inning.  They had runners on first and second with no outs. It was at this point that, Ian, one of Drew’s teammates, was hit in the face by a pitch. 

Paramedics were called as the blood flowed from his nose and mouth.    He suffered no concussion, no lost teeth and nothing was broken.  He will however be sporting a nice shiner for a while.  The little guy never cried and seemed to take it in stride.  Ian is learning bravery and how to take a tough knock in life and, by his example, so are all his teammates.  Let’s hope he continues playing the sport.  The game needs his kind of character. 

Drew’s big concern after the game was for his teammate.  On the ride home he expressed his concerns, yet never expressed any fear in continuing to play the game.  While this type of ugliness is very rare there is, nevertheless, a good chance that as Drew continues his development and advancement in the game, he may yet witness the second of these ugly events. 

The seeds for a solid foundation for dealing with life have been planted.  They will continue to be nurtured and developed as Drew continues his participation in athletics.  Solid citizens and good men aren’t just born that way.  It takes valuable, yet sometimes painful, experiences and whole lot of good parenting for them to flourish.  For it is exactly as Rudyard Kipling wrote; “If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same;”…”You’ll be a man my son.”